My husband thinks his remote can pop pocorn...

So last night we upgraded our home theater system with a blu-ray player.  However, we bought an open box...minus the effin remote. FABULOUS.  So out comes an old friend, our super fabulous Logitech (super high tech remote that Bryan bought years ago for too much money and didn't tell me about it).  It hasn't been used for years, but I do remember Bryan's main reason why he purchased it.

"Megan, this remote can pop popcorn" said in a serious voice.

Yes, I did tell this story to all my coworkers...cause that is what I do.  Bryan has told me he could never work there because they all think he is an idiot. I do counter my stories by stating he is really book smart, just not all that life smart and that is why we are a good pair...

But anyways, I came home today and told Bryan how we all laughed at him and his remote (he was programing it as I told him).  And his response was.....

"IT CAN POP POPCORN!!!" followed by an explanation that it can't actually go and get the popcorn and put it in the microwave, buuuuuut if the popcorn was actually in the microwave, and he hit the watch the movie button - it could start the microwave.  Too bad our microwave came with our house and is ancient...so no go on the popcorn.

But the man is still proud of his super cool remote that he has not used in years, cause you know it is still cutting edge.  Good purchase B.

I love stumbling on thought provoking art

Banksy...you need to check his work out...

When I start to think that life cannot get much worse...

I of course think it can't and how can everyone else have a fabulous life and not have a care in the world, I throw myself a pity party (usually in the car on my way home from somewhere) and I run a list in my head of how I haven't bought a new pair of shoes in god knows how long and I need a haircut (these are all vain I am quite aware - but really sometimes a new pair of shoes can really make a day much better).  I am also aware that that was probably the longest run on sentence ever...but this is a blog and I am asking for your forgiveness...

Then a few seconds later (okay lets be real - more like a few minutes) I realize how utterly ridiculous I am being.  I have my life and I am sure somewhere someone is thinking it is a fabulous life and I don't have a care in the world.  That someone would trade a million bucks to be where I am today.

Then I start to think of what those people's lives must be like.  What hardships they have or are having to face.  Who have they lost, what have they lost or worse never had?  And slowly I start to feel ashamed of my thoughts and behaviors.  

I start to think about how I should see all the blessings in my life and realize that some of the hardships I have to face right now might just be leading me to an amazing place, or even a more empathetic point of view towards other human beings.  And the worst part of it all is I start to realize that if I don't like where I am it really is my responsibility to get myself the hell out of Dodge.

I have been through a lot.  A lot more than most people would suspect and I know I have the strength to pull myself out of this place.  But sooner or later the pity parties have got to stop (although I do love balloons, cake and flowers). Today I am taking charge.

God, I feel like I need to buy some warpaint and dress up in Camouflage now.... Watch Out...might just turn this into the next hot trend ;)

Did I Ever Mention that I Wanted to be Famous?

Its true, I know you are not surprised.  I totally did (still secretly do).  See I grew up in Burbank, California - think NBC studios and Jay Leno driving around town...and Kids Incorporated was on the Disney Channel along with the Mickey Mouse Club.

Yeah,  I was pretty much convinced that I could be the next big thing, totally thought I could sing and I just needed an agent (not quite sure what that was when I was younger - but new it was the ticket to getting in).  I even looked them up in the yellow pages and left it out on the dinner table for my mother to find (she didn't take the hint).

So the next step was to show my parents that I was the next big child star. So I sang... I sang at night when I was supposed to be asleep and I knew they were still up (I am pretty sure it was to Whitney Houston's I Have Nothing from the Body Guard).  Deep down I knew if they heard me they would obviously see that I needed an agent. Nope.  They told me to shut up and go to bed.

And that was as far as I made it in my quest to become famous.  I am still trying to figure out my next move...since I have been informed that my singing voice should be kept to myself....by my parents, sister and husband... the list can go on and on....

Salt on my Driveway and Salt in Wounds

So I came home slightly frustrated that my walkway and driveway had not been shoveled - so to prove a point I walked in, put on my snow boots (they are cute by the way) and walked back out to shovel and sprinkle salt (made sure Bryan could see me from inside).

Walked back in and was greeted by a grumpy man.  "Where have you been...why didn't you tell me you were going to be outside...grumble grumble grumble".  My response "Cause I wanted this done, asked for it done and so I did it." more grumbling from Bryan...

So then I start handling Emily - getting her dressed for bedtime etc. and assumed the Bryan went to bed early and in a huff (Did I mention that Emily stayed up till 1:30 am last night?  That was after Bryan tried to lay her down with me with a sippy cup that leaks - I had told him not to use it earlier in the day since it leaked - Emily and I were covered in chocolate milk in a matter of minutes- I raged- oh well for positivity). 

Deep down I was kind of super excited - TRASH TV TIME!!! I got to flip between Gossip Girl, Ru Paul's Drag Race, and the Bachelor....it was nice while it lasted. 

All of a sudden my car pulls up and the garage door opens...turns out he was not sleeping.  Surprise.  He came in and said "I can't even be pissy since I have been gone so long...I was just going to return those movies, but then I thought I would be nice and replace your windshield wipers since I had a coupon."  I knew where this was going, my car is difficult and I can only have my wipers replaced by a Land Rover Dealership or someone who can order the parts...not Auto Zone. Turns out it is easier to take a wiper off than put it back on... and after trying 4 different types of wipers, Bryan came home defeated.

Then I giggled a bit and told him, "I am sorry if you were trying to proved a point but it was missed, I thought you were sleeping the whole time."

"That is like salt in my wounds Meg..."

I kind of feel bad for Bryan, but in all seriousness I laughed pretty hard.  And I got to watch my shows...now back to the original programing ...Criminal Minds ... not my choice. Touche Bryan, touche.

My Man was a man's man today and he thinks it gets him out of dishes!

So this morning we were inspired.  We watched Holmes on Homes and they visited Habitat for Humanities Restore store... So of course we googled  and found that we actually had one near the cities... NEW ACTION PLAN for the day!!!

Can I just say that it is a great resource!  If you are trying to be green and reuse, or just looking for a great deal on products donated straight from the retailers this is a place to definitely check out.  They might not have exactly what you need or want but if you go with an open mind and a can do attitude - or in our case - an over abundance in confidence, this is a place to visit!  We really should not have any confidence that we can do anything but demo...let's just be real.

So then after visiting and being inspired - we almost stopped at a tile store.... but then I had the fabulous idea of Babies r' Us...

WARNING:  This store can suck out any positive vibes from your husband in a matter of minutes.  I swear that Bryan was ready to leave the moment Emily decided she wanted out of the cart.  Sigh.

  But here is the deal, we totally scored on a car seat - Booo Ya.  Here are my tips - become a member (it is free)  you get special coupons on top of the ones they mail you.  AND YOU CAN DOUBLE UP....and if you shop in the clearance section for last year's models, the savings add up.  I am going to brag here.... A car seat that once retailed for $249.99 made its way in to my trunk for $100... so yeah I feel like I am the smartest person in the world. 
 
(I am leaving out the part where Bryan made me go back into the store b/c the coupons weren't applied correctly - when I came back to the car and told him what they told me- he told me they were wrong and tried to get me to go back in and explain it to them... mind you it was 6 degrees out... and if any of you know - I don't do this shit.  I don't call the pizza guy, I don't like to return things and if I don't know who is calling I don't answer.  So I was not happy and gave him the puppy dog eyes.  He gave me the angry eyes and then walked- more like stormed into the store to get our discount.  When he finally walked back to the car he said he was sorry.)


Babies r' Us - 0  Megan - 1
Bryan - 0  Megan - 1


So baaaaack to being inspired and back home.  Me and Emily were upstairs watching Nemo or something of that nature... and all of a sudden I hear a large THUMP followed by a little cracking down in the basement.  My husband had found my sledgehammer. YEEEEEESSSS!  


Once upon a time I started to demo the basement without Byran's knowledge.  I started to pull back paneling and  pretty much destroyed anything I could.  He was not happy to say the least.  But lets not dwell on my wrong doings....


Bryan knocked down 2 more walls - pulled more paneling from the main room and pulled up the carpet.  He was a machine!!!  I supervised and sang "Don't Worry be Happy."  I am pretty sure he appreciated my company and my humor...esp when I giggled when the sledgehammer missed its target and hit noting but air... he loves me I am sure he does, but I am 100% sure this was all a ploy to get him out of dishes...


Bryan -1  Megan -1
Today was a draw .....

 

Sooo today's diet didn't go so well...

Breakfast: Sugar donuts....Bagel with cream cheese.... Mt. Dew

Lunch: Bagel with cream cheese... Cupcake without frosting....cupcake with frosting

Dinner: Grilled cheese with sour cream and onion chips topped off with Sprite

Today did not go well on the diet side of things.  

I don't think the hair side of things went any better.  Was asked if I brushed my hair with a firecracker this morning... luckily I like the guy (in a friendly non romantic way) and know he was giving me shit... however, I just might not be doing this hair-do again anytime soon...


On the nice side of things - I was a bit nicer today!  Now, I won't go and say I have done a 180 but I was nice to a few people today and it was even -21 degrees to start out the day, that would give anyone the green light for some attitude!


No deep thoughts for today - just bundling up for another cold night....


 

Hate when I have these realizations

So I came home yesterday a crab-ass.  I left work at 6:15 and didn't get home till 7 since I had to help someone at work. His boss didn't give him all the details he needed and this project needed to be done on the fly.  I asked for the info multiple times and got no where.  Ugh and I had even planned to workout - wasn't going to happen :(

Anyways - fumed the whole way home just raging inside and then got inside and sat on the couch.  Look at my husband, and told him I needed to change my attitude... now I know you weren't expecting that!  

Yes, my attitude needs an adjustment.  Life is going to throw curves, not everything is going to go the way I want it and I need to get over my little rages.  It doesn't really help anything right?  Only makes me look like a drama queen.

Yes, in fact I do like gossip and I do like a little drama to add spice in my life - but I rather it not be created by me... I need to get over myself fast.  Sigh, I hate these self realizations.  They just prove to me that I am not, in fact, perfect.  

My husband was also shocked that I had come to this revelation all by myself.  He told me he was glad I did, since he really didn't want to have this conversation with me or point it out himself.  He is quite aware that the angry pregnancy hormones can flare at any moment...smart man.

Anyways, today is a new day and it is time for me to self improve.  Be slightly nicer, understanding while remaining my snarky self - a hard balance but I think I can do it! Too bad this didn't happen New Years Eve... it would have been a great resolution...better late than never!

Kisses - hope everyone has a great day!

I got the look today

So at my work, it is kind of an unspoken rule that floors 1-3 have to take the stairs (obviously floor 1 doesn't count) so they don't clog up the elevators - we have 8 floors so stopping at all the floors can get annoying (think of the movie ELF and you got the picture).  Same rule applies going down.  Well today I took the elevator down (big big no no) and I got the look - the one that says "really... you are really going to take the elevator down 3 floors...you can't walk down 3 floors?!?!" Well to this I responded by pushing my tiny pregnant belly out as far out as I could to say in unspoken words "See you shits, I am pregnant..so in your effin face." 

In all honesty I had a meeting from 10-12 and had 5 minutes to grab lunch for my meeting from 12-1 followed by you guessed it another meeting.  And one more excuse, my hands were full with my laptop, phone, note book and calculator. 

I know I used my pregnancy for evil - bad, bad me...but seriously we have 8 elevators and I didn't slow them down that much.  And I was hungry.

After a long day, nothing was more fitting than to come home and have a dance party with miss Emily to non other than Meatloaf, Bat Out of Hell, Meatloaf.  My husband even got in on the action and said he like the music (surprising to say the least).  I recommend you take a moment, revisit the past and pull up some Meatloaf and have a good time being ridiculous.  Might just play it at my desk tomorrow to see how many people think I am absolutely insane ;)

Have a great night everyone - and if you can have a dance party and take the elevator whenever you darn well please!!! 

Phew!!!

That was a close one!  So that rumor going around that our signs had changed had me slightly panicked. See I am 100% Cancer.  I am a homebody, very loyal to my friends once I open up to them and am very caring etc... to be short I am simply fabulous all the way around (please read know I am full of shit). 

Well, with the new layout and addition of the new sign - that I cannot pronoun let alone pretend to spell, I was going to be a Gemini.  Yeah not a big deal for most, but I was one of those girls who decided the best way to show my independence when I turned 18 and got a tattoo.  Not just any tattoo - but a Cancer sign on my lower back, also known as a tramp stamp.  It wasn't a crab, but the sign where when you walk in to show your dad his first statement is "You got 69 tattooed above your ass?!?" Yeah, there was no way I was going to get around this.  

But at least I brought humor to my Bryan, he told me to go blog about it - thanks hun ;)

But luckily for me, and I am sure plenty of other "independent" teens the signs are not changing for us Westerners - Whew.  That was a close one.....

After Another Day of Snow

It almost sounds good to move back to TX.  I want to be able to wear my cute shoes again, I want to be able to get into my car and not have to wait till I get to work (30 min drive) for my heater to finally be full blast, I want to plant!!!

I am ready for Spring, I am ready to dig in dirt and pretend that I am a master gardener (I am so not - I tend to kill things).  I am ready for walks outside, I am ready to soak up the sun past 4:30pm.   I am also ready for all the house projects that we can continue on!!! 

We started to paint our house last summer/fall and did a pretty decent job of it all until my Husband's eye went bust.  There is a lesson in this story so pay attention closely.... After buying our own paint sprayer instead of renting one and it getting clogged over and over again, we finally went back to Home Depot and rented a professional grade sprayer (my advice is to do this from the start and save the time, headache and money).  It definitely had more pressure and I offered Bryan a pair of goggles - he chose not to wear them... and low and behold that evening his eyes were swollen he couldn't see out of them and had to go to the eye doctor the next morning...he had two ulcers on his corneas.  PAINFUL to say the least...that was in Sept...it is now January and he is still seeing an eye doctor - but he is on the mend and it is almost perfect timing!!! I am so going to put him back to work this spring (it is the least I can do considering he left all the trim work up to me ;)).  So the lesson to everyone is - listen to your wives -WEAR GOGGLES!

EVIDENCE:

                                                                 obviously a before

                                                               and here is a durring

                                                                     and the after

                                            now we just have to add some landscaping!!!

So there will be a few touch ups on the paint - hopefully a fence and a few new shrubs this spring - can't be that hard right?

Another Day Another Post

So the one thing I absolutely love about being pregnant is being sick, stuffed up with a chapped nose and not being able to do a darn thing about it.  On top of it all I have a cat that has taken stalking to a new level.  I sit down on the couch he is on me in a second.  And not in the way you would think a cute lap cat would.  He finds the position that is the most inconvenient to me at the moment...oh you are reading a book, let me lay on your face...oh you are trying to type on the laptop, let me lay across both your arms...I love my cat but for this one reason I am ready to be done being pregnant.  Otherwise the pregnancy is going just fine...minus the fact Bryan has throw out Guillermo a few dozen times today.  He is just not going to let that name die...


Other thoughts of the day... looking for two mirrors for my half done bathroom.... quite the task for me lately.  I don't want anything overpowering (cause I am going with a super fabulous and unique wall paper from Anthropology this one right here. ) but I do need something that stands out and can hold its own.  Sigh - I am sure I will find something...but until then I will be driving my husband nuts showing him different screen shots and getting denied each time...he definitely does not have a designer eye or know when certain shapes and lines or colors work with each other but he does have the power of Veto.  I am going to have to take that away at some point.

It is also Sunday, which means I don't want to going into work tomorrow and am fantasizing about my tropical vacation that is now where to be seen on my calendar...sigh someday I will be rich and be able to jet off to my own island for doing something trivial like being pregnant at 16...shit that boat has already sailed... no one is going to want to watch me be pregnant at 27...note to self - must find other option at being famous for nothing.


Have a happy week - but not to happy - throw some jaded sass somewhere in there as well :)

 

A New Year an New Attempt at Blogging

So here we go again... another attempt at this blogging thing.  I need something to keep me slightly busy, slightly sane.  It is January in Minnesota and by my reasoning that means it is almost February which means it is practically March which is when Spring starts teasing us, and then dumps two feet of snow on us... but I will take those teasing days right about now.  This is my first year of living in MN where I am actually counting down the days to spring.  normally I love the snow, love looking at the covered trees and just enjoying the seasons.

I think this is due to have a toddler on my hands.  Emily turned two in December and has so much energy to burn...not surprising I know with a toddler but I so need my yard back so I can just let her run and run...

Speaking of the yard one of our house improvement projects for the spring is to build a fence around our yard...right after we finish a few on the inside:

1. Finish the main bathroom that has been under a remodel...for almost two years...
2. Refinish our hardwood floors that look like we have sandpaper for feet...
3. Remodel my cave of a kitchen - meaning new flooring, new cabinets, and new appliances

All of this plus a baby on the way.... really I am insane.

Oh and I want to repaint the living room.....

So Hopefully I will be posting and keeping everyone updated on our house projects, venting a bit about my husband and his habit of "soaking" the dishes and not actually washing the dishes, and maybe a few of my fabulous insights on life...