I of course think it can't and how can everyone else have a fabulous life and not have a care in the world, I throw myself a pity party (usually in the car on my way home from somewhere) and I run a list in my head of how I haven't bought a new pair of shoes in god knows how long and I need a haircut (these are all vain I am quite aware - but really sometimes a new pair of shoes can really make a day much better). I am also aware that that was probably the longest run on sentence ever...but this is a blog and I am asking for your forgiveness...
Then a few seconds later (okay lets be real - more like a few minutes) I realize how utterly ridiculous I am being. I have my life and I am sure somewhere someone is thinking it is a fabulous life and I don't have a care in the world. That someone would trade a million bucks to be where I am today.
Then I start to think of what those people's lives must be like. What hardships they have or are having to face. Who have they lost, what have they lost or worse never had? And slowly I start to feel ashamed of my thoughts and behaviors.
I start to think about how I should see all the blessings in my life and realize that some of the hardships I have to face right now might just be leading me to an amazing place, or even a more empathetic point of view towards other human beings. And the worst part of it all is I start to realize that if I don't like where I am it really is my responsibility to get myself the hell out of Dodge.
I have been through a lot. A lot more than most people would suspect and I know I have the strength to pull myself out of this place. But sooner or later the pity parties have got to stop (although I do love balloons, cake and flowers). Today I am taking charge.
God, I feel like I need to buy some warpaint and dress up in Camouflage now.... Watch Out...might just turn this into the next hot trend ;)
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