My Opinion on Co-Sleeping (Take it or Leave it)

So I know it has been a while,  I have been managing Black Friday Ads, Black Friday offers... two kids, two cats and a husband....

Now taking a deep breath, I am back to blogging with fabulous parental advice on Co-sleeping.

My advice. Don't do it.  And not for the reasoning you think... I honestly could care less how you choose to raise your kids and how you choose to sleep with them (mind you you take all the precautions on making it safe as possible - and not just a pillow wall).

My caution aka. warning is simple.

KIDS PUKE. 

And when kids share a bed with you and puke in the bed... you are most likely going to wake up in a puddle of puke.  And unless your kid eats rose petals and perfume... it will stink to high heaven.

A perfect example of this was last night in the Vargas household.

I would love it if Emily would remain in her own big girl bed... but she has figured out that if she sneaks in on dad's side of the bed, he will let her up and in for a snuggle... while mom gets kicked in the back and ousted from the bed.

So like any other night... Emily sneaks in around 11 pm. Around 11:58 pm I awake to yucky stuff on my back and promptly wake Bryan up (secretly hoping he would man up and clean the mess by himself while I went back to sleep).  It was a two person job.  Puke in hair. Puke in bed. Puke everywhere.

Poor Em was humiliated - cause what kid really wants to puke - much less be covered in puke.

So we stripped the bed... laid a sheet over the bare mattress and Bryan and Em went back to bed once the mess and Emily were cleaned up.

I went to sleep in Em's room.  Alone.  And slept much better than I have in a long time.

So there is my parenting lesson of the day.

(oh p.s. when you kid tells you that her tummy hurts - not a great idea to feed your kid pizza, Swedish Fish and gum... learned the hard way by Bryan).

Parenting is Awesome.

But today is not.

Hoolllllly Hell.  So I have been MIA since having Eli.... and yes two is more than one and I would like to return one as of right now....

Emily has found a fabulous new strategy on avoiding medicine.  She just spits it up all over her face when I try to give it to her which equals sticky face, sticky hair, sticky hands and sticky mom.

I am impressed with the strategy but not amused as of right now (check back in the morning).

Sigh.

Oh and did I mention if one cries the other cries?  yup that is my night.

But I still love them  go figure.

So back to catching you up on all things fabulous and not so fabulous... I am back to work and back to finding cheap-o projects...

The living room has yet to be painted (mainly because I cannot decide on a dark green or a dark blue) leaning more to dark blue with a yellow piano - but the hubby has completely nixed the piano idea... I can never win with him....

However, the purple desk has been put to good use...  Bryan got a promotion which allows him to work at a bit at home, and since I re-purposed our office desk into a purple desk for Emily's room, Bryan has found himself clocking in hours on the oh so feminine desk.... he is thrilled with me.

My garden in the back is growing strong and has found a few more additions - a few pink bleeding hearts and pink pom pom like flower mounds - love them and the fact that they were on sale.

So life is still trying to find some balance between two kids, a full time job, a husband and a house that begs for a make over daily...

Someday I will have it all together!!!

so after the paci party

we are trying to conquer the sleeping in the big girl bed... yeah daddy is not helping that situation (you would think it would be backwards but it is not).
 
So tonight I put Emily in Eli's crib. Whoa did not sit well with her.  She was mortified by it.

She is a girl. As she explained it to me. Not a boy. So therefore she should not be in  a boy's room nor a boy's crib.  Logic at its best.

So after she chose to sleep in the big girl bed, hysterics ensued.  This is the point in which I encourage others to live their single lives to the fullest... cause I am trying to sleep through "it's not my fault ...it's not my fault.... mommy ..... mommy...." without feeling like a shit parent.

Those lovey mother and child pictures all over facebooks... yeah full of shit.  FYI.  It is a bunch of people trying to pretend that they have a picture perfect life with kids... no they are not going to take pictures of their trashed house with Lucky Charms all over their floors or Crayons all over their walls... so please if you feel envious of their lives please know they are envious of yours times 10.

Esp. after sleepless nights.

Even if their kids are cute as hell.

I promise.

So go to 1 too many concerts and get shit face 1 too many times .... cause it will all be worth it when the kids come.

And yes you will love them no matter what.... but do take advantage of your time while you have it.

Meanwhile ... back to "It is not my fault" aka you are a horrible parent.....

Took a Break from Life

Okay so I am back, kind of.

Sigh, I have had a good bout with the baby blues hence going back to work early... I know, this seems like the reverse thing to do... but I needed to get back to a routine, I needed grown up contact, I needed a project and to be busy with the world.

I also needed a little bit of help from some "happy pills" for full disclosure.  I am not going to lie, and pretend that I can handle this solely on my own... thank god for my mom and her ability to just listen to my rants and raves and just to come and save the day every now and then. And to clean my house when I have given up for the whole week.

Bryan has been wonderful, even though he has no clue what the hell baby blues are and what he can do to help - he just tries to be lighthearted about it and bring out the funny in the situation - which I really do appreciate...

So back to work I am.  I have a new manager and a new merchant which I am really excited about.  My role has slightly changed (in a good way) and I am try to change and adjust to the new norm... slower than I would like but I will catch up soon!  I have a lot of good people backing me and I feel good about it all.

Emily is being an awesome good big sister, and we are trying to get rid of the Paci.  We are on day 2 night 3... Yesterday we had a "No More Paci Party". 

The deal was, I forgot the Paci at daycare Monday night - uh oh - so I quickly took advantage of the situation and told Emily that if she went to bed without Paci, and did daycare without Paci she could have a party with a cake... Well she did awesome, and Tuesday I went and bought a huge butterfly balloon, a muffin sized cupcake and decorated her room with tulle and sparkle beads...

Party was a huge success, we danced with stuffed animals, cheered about no more paci, and how Emily was a big girl....she loved it.

Then came bedtime.

Big meltdown.  The "I hate you mom" kind of meltdown.  She even tried to negotiate for her Paci back.  She told me to take down the decorations, take back the balloon and give her back the Paci.  I was actually really impressed by her logic.  But no dice.

I think I spent a good hour listening to her rant and rave.  If Bryan had been there, he would have caved.  But I have a heart of stone ;) and want to be done with the Paci.  We shall see how tonight goes!

Eli is great, starting to smile and that makes my ego go through the roof... I am pretty sure he thinks I am the best looking mom he has ever seen!

T-O - Double Dizzle aka. Todd the cat is doing well... we still know the odds there but feel good about being able to give him a good kitty life however long or short it is.

Thomas the man cat is not thrilled with this.  Not at all.

Otherwise, life is almost into a groove but more like a manageable chaos... just the way the Vargas family likes it!

You Are Worth It

I use to buy shoes all the time.  Great shoes. Unique shoes.

Now I am a mom. Of two. 

And now my hobby of collecting shoes has slowed.  BIG TIME. 

And with that so has the general up keep of myself.

And so today, it took my mother to remind me that I am worth it, I do deserve it and I should not feel guilty about taking care of myself.  Bobbie Brown Cosmetics now considers me a "good" customer.

I have been surviving on the bare minimum, living in sweats the last two months and today was my day.  I think mothers sometimes equate sacrifice and taking care of everyone else first with love... and yes in some cases it does, I am not saying sacrificing a liver to save a life does not equal love...but what I am saying is that mom's need to take care of themselves too.  And value themselves so that they remain happy enough to make that dinner at night, or be okay with scrubbing off that crayon off the hardwood floors.

Now don't get me wrong - I know my value and I am greatly underpaid!!!! ha.  But it really did take my mother giving me a "talk" on the way home so I didn't hyperventilate from the amount of money I spent on makeup.   But tomorrow is back to work day and I needed a little pick me up since not all my clothes fit yet.

So yes, Grandma's visit was much needed. Esp last night.  Emily got super super sick (like puke in mom and dad's bed multiple times sick) and of course right in the middle of that Eli decided he totally needed in on the attention -sigh.  I felt my mental state slowly slipping into insanity but then Grandma Mimi stepped in to save the day and handled Eli (meaning she threw herself in front of the baby spit up and took one for the team).  So we were extremely lucky to have a grandma in the house.

And to top it all off, the office is somewhat an office - minus a desk (finding the right one) but we can totally walk into and out of the room and I am proud enough to leave the doors open!!! SUCCESS!!!

And all the laundry is done (again kudos to mom) including the puke-y bedding and towels.

Now I must start to pick out tomorrow's outfits, pack Eli & Emily's daycare bags and mentally prepare for my morning of chaos.

Might throw a bubble bath in there somewhere too!

Happy Labor Day Everyone!

Mom to the Rescue X 2

So about once a week I give my mom the "I am in over my head with 2 kids, a man cat, and a house full of chaos" call.  It usually involves tears.  No lie.

So Barbara, as I like to call her sometimes, just to get under her skin, is coming to save my ass yet again this weekend (she finally took the hint after the 3rd hysterical call that day).

We have a project that we are going to tackle - and as much as I would love it to be our bathroom - we are still not quite ready for that one - and I think that might have to be left to my man and my dad.

This weekend we are tackling the office/storage room/now sick kitty haven room.

We will be purging all of Bryan's stupid school books ( they are only stupid since I have asked a dozen times for him to sort them out so I could have some type of  storage space).  We will be going through all the junk we keep throwing in there and deciding what stays and goes. 

I love this part.  I love cleaning out clutter- it makes me feel so much more in control of my life when everything else is spiraling. 

I would love to try and tackle the dictionary wallpaper - but that might be slightly aggressive with Emily and Eli needing to be entertained - but that room has got to get going...ideally this is the direction I want it to head...

So hopefully my mother can wrangle up another miracle and help me finish my office/sick kitty haven room and we can knock off the storage room title.  Okay, small goals I would honestly just like to be able to walk into the room without almost killing myself - and not be ashamed enough to have the doors open to the room...

It is the small things in life.

Did I mention that I am going back to work next week as well?!? So yes, I have called in reinforcements to help me prep for more chaos and insanity (thank god no one expects me to cook - I have already squashed all expectations/hope for that - burning a few batches of spaghetti- os will do that).

Wish me luck.

Well Shit.

Todd and I visited the vet today.

Not good news.  He has kitty leukemia. And roundworms.

Emily loves Todd with a double D.  I love Todd with a double D.  But this does not look good.

I brought Todd home with his dewormer, and now have a tough decision on my hands.  If he was going to be an only cat it would be easy.  But we have Thomas the man cat, and kitty leukemia is contagious and killer in cats.

Todd is now locked in my bedroom to separate the two cats (not really necessary since Thomas really wants nothing to do with Todd) but it breaks my heart.

We can see if Todd can beat the virus (retest in 3-6 wks) but the odds are not in our favor and the vet doesn't want to give us false hope.

I don't know what to do.  My animal saving skills are seriously lacking this month.

Bummed to say the least.  Shit.  I don't want to make the smart decision.

Update:

Family Decision - We are making the office/storage room a kitty room!  Bryan and I feel like if Todd with a double D was lucky enough to find a family that didn't mind too much that he had worms and diarrhea up the wazoo (okay he was lucky that Bryan and I didn't kill him) that he could be lucky enough to beat this virus.

(I am about 100% shocked that Bryan was in agreement and there really was no need for a discussion, as much as B grumbles about animals and my need to save anything and everything I can I think he actually finds this an endearing trait of mine - that is what I am going with)

We are going to give him that chance, and if it does go the opposite way we will be ready for it and do the humane thing, but until Todd with a double D gives us that sign we are going to fight this thing.

 My mom has a cat name Dusty - who was on the brink of death from god knows what -  the vet had totally written him off ... but the miracle of deli cut roast beef brought that pisser of a cat back and he is now a behemoth of a cat.  We are going this route with Todd.

So Todd will be getting the royal treatment:

1. Roast Beef Diet (once we get his stomach in order)

2. His own room (to protect Thomas the man cat)

3. Stress free unconditional love

Wish us luck, we know we will need it, but if we are just another statistic at least Todd will have had a family and some love in his short life.