Congrats to the Bride and Groom

So instead of having a fabulous time celebrating the witty side of my family, I am being fat and pregnant and nursing a sick baby.

How much would I rather be skinny in a fabulous black dress (I have a great bridesmaid dress that I would have worn - no lie - Laura B. let us pick out our own and it is killer) bantering with my Uncle Robert about how my cousin Chad never got me on Oprah for as many years as he worked lighting for her, and how I am funny as hell (self nominated here) and should make a guest appearance on Saturday Night Live since my other cousin writes for them.

Yes, it is this side of the family that stole all the fabulous-ness from me and left me to fend for myself and my ego with this blog.

I love them.  Chad (the one getting married today- yay) was fabulous to me when I first moved up to Minneapolis for college and left everything I knew and was comfortable with.  He showed me the ropes, bought me beer, took me to a house party and got me drunk.  Then like any good cousin he took my hung over self to a wonderful hole in the wall place for some fabulous eggs in the morning.  He was even nice enough to show me the areas never to walk alone in or at night in... I am pretty sure I felt super safe after that convo...

This is the side of the family I always flock to when we do those "family" events... cause they understand my snottiness and usually dismiss it with a grain of salt.  Even when I give Uncle Robert a hard time for driving a PT Cruiser.

He even kept it after he hit a deer... perfect opportunity to "trade up" to something less like a hearse... but I love him anyways.

But back to the original topic, we definitely wish we could have been there... but my waddle does not equal dancing and my fat feet could not have fit into the cute black shoes I would have worn with the cute black dress that obviously doesn't fit at the moment... and being a week away from my due date I might have been even more sassy than acceptable at a celebration... and then there is that whole impending labor issue...

But here, in honor of the newlyweds - this is what I would have partied it up in for the two of you (and would have danced inappropriately in - if I were able to get a few cocktails in me):

And the reason why Lindsey was covering her cleavage?  Because she had to get a larger size dress so that the hem wasn't too revealing.. however even after altering - she need a little help from a level 3 from Victoria Secret... I am short and had no problems - but being the fabulous friend that I am - five minutes after this picture was taken - and two minutes before we walked down the isle - I was stuffing my bra with tissues so that she would not be the only "hussy" walking down the isle in front of everyone...

On the record, her boobies were not on the "hussy" level.

Love you Uncle Robert, Ann, Chad & Elizabeth!!!  Congrats and I hope there is someone dancing at your wedding inappropriately right now to take my place :)